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Every new mom has a post about things I wish I had known. Today hubs said "no one told me how much fun it would be to have a kid." I reminded him that we heard often that parenting would be the hardest job we'd ever love- I think that covers it.
For me though there aren't any things that I didn't know that I wish I had known... yet. (I'm leaving that caveat for later.) What I knew would be hard for me is the sitting. Before Mary came I would go to the store and they would offer to carry my groceries out for me. "No thank you. As long as I have two free arms, I'm carrying them myself." Similarly, I went on lots of walks and just generally kept moving. I knew there would be time for sitting later. Sitting. The dreaded pastime.
And then it came.
For the first few days after delivery there was lots of sitting so my body could heal. Contrary to the well-intentioned suggestion of friends, it wasn't time to start doing the stair-master quite yet. There was a lot that had to get its act together first, if you ladies know what I mean. I thought I could go on a short walk three days after she was born though. It was a nice fall day! Take advantage! Aaaannd pay for that one with pain through the night that night. So to avoid more pain, I sit.
And then the visits from friends and family. When people come to see you and visit the baby you sit on the couch and talk. Or they offer to do chores for you "so you can sit for a minute." So gratefully, I sit.
And then the sleeping baby. You can only walk around with a sleeping baby with a wobbly head for so long before you just stop and sit down with her in your arms. I have to stop doing and sit.
And then the sleeping at night is hard to come by and by dinner time each night you think "yeaaahh... I should have taken that nap that I refused to take a few hours ago." So a few days of that go by and I learn to force myself to plan to sit for a few hours. (Or lay down. Depending on the day.)
Here is the thing. Sitting is an art has to be learned.
Think about a toddler. When they finally learn to crawl, you can't get them to sit! Don't we all love those blurry pictures of 1 year olds in motion?
Or a 7 year old. There is a reason there is a kids table at Thanksgiving. They squirm at the table, jump up as soon as possible, and dance around the room until something breaks or they find their way outside or in time-out. I've never done that, for the record.
Or a 17 year old. They "sit" but really it looks like a sling: sitting and laying down combined. And their eyes are so fixated on the TV or their phone that they don't interact with people. And don't do their spines any favors. I've never been there and done that...
And then there are 27 year olds that are so busy with... well I think you might know someone like this and be able to fill in the description for yourself. Not me of course...
And then there are the older, wiser people that love to sit around the house and enjoy their company. That are okay letting the dishes sit in the sink, not knowing who it was that just called their cell phone that rang across the room, watching a sleeping baby.
That's what I didn't expect. I knew sitting would challenge my sense of accomplishment, my independence, in short- my humility. But what I didn't expect was how much I would love sitting holding a sleeping baby.
This Thanksgiving I'm practicing the art of sitting. I'd encourage you to do the same.
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For me though there aren't any things that I didn't know that I wish I had known... yet. (I'm leaving that caveat for later.) What I knew would be hard for me is the sitting. Before Mary came I would go to the store and they would offer to carry my groceries out for me. "No thank you. As long as I have two free arms, I'm carrying them myself." Similarly, I went on lots of walks and just generally kept moving. I knew there would be time for sitting later. Sitting. The dreaded pastime.
And then it came.
For the first few days after delivery there was lots of sitting so my body could heal. Contrary to the well-intentioned suggestion of friends, it wasn't time to start doing the stair-master quite yet. There was a lot that had to get its act together first, if you ladies know what I mean. I thought I could go on a short walk three days after she was born though. It was a nice fall day! Take advantage! Aaaannd pay for that one with pain through the night that night. So to avoid more pain, I sit.
And then the visits from friends and family. When people come to see you and visit the baby you sit on the couch and talk. Or they offer to do chores for you "so you can sit for a minute." So gratefully, I sit.
And then the sleeping baby. You can only walk around with a sleeping baby with a wobbly head for so long before you just stop and sit down with her in your arms. I have to stop doing and sit.
And then the sleeping at night is hard to come by and by dinner time each night you think "yeaaahh... I should have taken that nap that I refused to take a few hours ago." So a few days of that go by and I learn to force myself to plan to sit for a few hours. (Or lay down. Depending on the day.)
Here is the thing. Sitting is an art has to be learned.
Think about a toddler. When they finally learn to crawl, you can't get them to sit! Don't we all love those blurry pictures of 1 year olds in motion?
Or a 7 year old. There is a reason there is a kids table at Thanksgiving. They squirm at the table, jump up as soon as possible, and dance around the room until something breaks or they find their way outside or in time-out. I've never done that, for the record.
Or a 17 year old. They "sit" but really it looks like a sling: sitting and laying down combined. And their eyes are so fixated on the TV or their phone that they don't interact with people. And don't do their spines any favors. I've never been there and done that...
And then there are 27 year olds that are so busy with... well I think you might know someone like this and be able to fill in the description for yourself. Not me of course...
And then there are the older, wiser people that love to sit around the house and enjoy their company. That are okay letting the dishes sit in the sink, not knowing who it was that just called their cell phone that rang across the room, watching a sleeping baby.
That's what I didn't expect. I knew sitting would challenge my sense of accomplishment, my independence, in short- my humility. But what I didn't expect was how much I would love sitting holding a sleeping baby.
Day
after day
after day
after day
after day
after day
after day
This Thanksgiving I'm practicing the art of sitting. I'd encourage you to do the same.
