Friday Night "Fun"

The busy season schedule comes with plenty of challenges for us all, as we’ve discussed. Long days during the week. Getting up early to go in again on Saturday. And even occasionally plugging in to work after our church friends leave on Sunday nights (around 9pm). That is why I so look forward to Friday night. On Friday night, my best friend leaves work on time and we get to spend the evening together. Often that includes a happy hour or dinner out. It is the one night a week where it is completely acceptable to ask “when will you be home?”

Two weeks ago on a Friday I asked that innocent question. He was going to leave right at 5. We agreed that we would meet at a nearby Mexican restaurant for a few margaritas and chips and head home for dinner. It was Restaurant Week so most places in town require reservations a few days in advance.

At 5:05 I got a text from the Mister that said “I’ll be leaving in 5. Call you from the car.” So 5:15 rolls around. And 5:30. And 5:40. No call. Am I annoyed? Nooooo. Yes. Yes, I am. The little lady is fussy at this point because she is due for her late afternoon nap. I expected she would fall asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant 30 minutes ago. Do you know how long 30 minutes feels when you have a tired fussy baby? Really long, that’s how long. So I’m trying to console this little one while in my head…

Really? Really? How hard is it to leave on time once a week.

It’s just me and Mary all week long- morning, evening, middle of the night. And now he is making it even more difficult for me?

Are there other people working? Who is keeping him there?

Ugh. There is going to be a wait at the restaurant now. Doesn’t he know the difference between showing up at 5:15 and 6?

Sooo inconsiderate. I’m tired. I’m hungry. I’m mad. I’m sad.

These are all very upright, godly thoughts of course.

And I’m always on time so I’ve never been guilty.

And none of you have ever felt this way about anyone being late to meet you.

Duh.

So about this time my phone rings. An 800 number.

“Hello, is this Samantha?”

“Yes.” (Is this another vacation company trying to sell me on a package?)

“My name is Reuben from the Main Street Building Security” (Ugh. Brett forgot to bring money to get out of the parking garage and now I’m going to have to go bring cash.) “Brett is currently stuck in an elevator inside our building and does not have cell phone service. He is fine and we do have a technician on the way, but he asked me to call you to let you know he will be late for whatever appointment you have this evening.”

Insert lump in throat here.  “Oh wow. Okay. Is there anyone with him?”

“Yes ma’am. I believe there is one other gentlemen with him.”

“Okay. Well, glad to hear everything is alright. Thank you for calling.”

“Have a good evening.”

“You too.” 

I hung up and immediately confessed my stupid selfishness. My stupid sin.

I’m sitting here- at home, with water, and food, and a bathroom, and more than 10 square feet to move- stewing over how selfish he is. Little did I know he had been stuck in an elevator for 30 minutes. And would continue to have to wait another 45 to get out. Forgive me. Make my heart quit being so darn selfish. Of course he wants to get home too. Of course he wants to see me and Mary. He was not intentionally killing time with coworkers to avoid coming home. And now, ugh. I’m a jerk. Forgive me, Lord.

He called 45 minutes later. A total of 75 minutes in that darned elevator. There are two elevators banks in that building: one serving floors 1-15 and the other 16-30 (approximately). He was coming down from 20-something so when the elevator started to pick up speed and abruptly stopped, the elevator screen where the number should be read “XX”. That stands for “no-man’s-land where even if the elevator doors would open there is just a wall on the other side so you couldn’t get out”.

He was able to push a service button to talk to someone and let them know they were stuck. That man called the technician and said “is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Ugh. Get us out?”

No. He didn’t ask that. He asked that man, that voice, Reuben, to call his wife and apologize for being late.

Soooo there’s a dose of humility for you. For me.

We ended up going to dinner that night at a different Mexican restaurant. It took a while to find an opening and it was stressful. But we got there and enjoyed a date night with our little girl. Friday night worked out just fine.

And here is a thought: It would have been easy to pretend I was never mad.  It would have been easy to just think “Well, I was wrong. Glad it wasn’t me in that elevator!” To never tell him how angry I was. “Oh no big deal. I’m glad you’re fine! We were just killing time until you got home.” But it was important- really important- to apologize. To ask for forgiveness for being a butthead, even I never said anything mean. To confess my selfishness to God. Because if I can’t admit I’m wrong in that moment, how could I ask for forgiveness for the ickier stuff? We have to practice that sort of thing.

Don’t worry. We still aren’t good at Friday nights.  I got mad the next Friday too. I apologized and so did he. And then we had a great night.

Humility. By God’s grace, I’m learning. 

"... In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." 

(Philippians 2:3b,4)

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Isaiah 53

It's helpful to remember the truth.


Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
And they made his grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.
Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors.

(Isaiah 53 ESV)

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I'm glad I can be honest with you all. Cause I need to just externally process what I've been thinking lately. Will I erase the un-thunk thoughts after I figure out what I think? No. Too much work :-)

So this weekend I think I was thinking about how much we ought to expect a person to love us. How much can a human fulfill our need to be loved? And how little affection is too little? At what point does it become just "good enough"? Which of course is never actually enough.

I'm very thankful for my hubs. And especially thankful for Christ who loves me more than my bestie could ever hope to. He's the one that makes our marriage thrive.

So then I encounter people... Okay fine just one person... A work person who requires way more patience than I'm used to needing to give.

I remember once last year I was working for a manager at my company who was, well, challenging to say the least. I remember raising my voice with him and saying "I've never even been tempted to speak to my husband this way so there is no way you should make me this angry at you!" It was a very female thing to say at the moment- you know, nonsensical and not helpful- but I meant it!

Anyway, back to the guy this week. He requires more patience from me than I'm used to. I have to continually pray and ask God to make me humble and to remember that he means well. I say outloud in my head... Or maybe just outloud altogether things like "I'm a woman therefore I think I know best." Which really is the truth! But really, it isn't the truth. It's just in my arrogant little head.

What is my conclusion? For now I think it is: love is not just a feeling, it is also a commitment that requires intentionality and a healthy does of patience.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law..."

Mt 22:37-40

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I'll take the sticks and stones, please.

What is it about words that just getcha? I could be having a perfectly fine day, aside from the fact that I didn't wash my hair this morning my outfit is awful, and then someone says something mean, grouchy, a little off, rude, insensitive, whatever and then it's just all gone. Why is that?

See I had to call the chief compliance officer at a company to get his approval for a sign my client is putting up. He starts the call all cheery..."Hi, how are you? Happy new year!" Insert blah-blah-blah happy talk. Then he joyfully pounces on me for using a word in our marketing that we aren't allowed to use (even though his company was the one that wrote it) and says that he doesn't care what our legal team says because it's his decision and our "opinion is irrelevant".

Let's evaluate this for a second.
I didn't write it.
It's not my decision.
I'm just the messenger.

But I still am very distracted and can't work and instead am forced to blog about how the man is never nice. He's honestly like this all the time. But why do I care?

Oh yeah. Galatians 1 comes to mind. Its because I still like the approval of men. Not men, men. But people, men.

God approves of me, thanks to Jesus.

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My favorite book

Know what this is a picture of?

It is my Bible.

Correction: It was my Bible. 

Correction: It is my Bible, but it is now in 1 million pieces.

Mack is in serious trouble.

And I'm sad.

**Update 2 hours later**
Mack just consumed the hubster's Bible also.
He said it tasted sweeter than honey.

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Christmas Carol

I've been slackin. Forgive me. 
Thanksgiving has come and gone. We both took the week off work (this never ever happens) and spent some time with family in Ta-town then KC. I have plenty to tell you about including pies, movie marathons, Christmas decor... but let's save that for later. Tonight we went to see A Christmas Carol with our families. 

It is always a wonderful production. Such beautiful love and hope and joy! I've seen it several times, but have never read the book. Tonight hubs and I decided we wanted to read it. We'll see if that actually happens... The story is old enough that everyone has their own interpretations and their own perspectives on highlights and shortfalls, but I'll share my thoughts anyway since this blog is all about speaking from the abundance of my heart :-)

Belle has a relatively small part in the story. She was the woman Scrooge loved when he was young. She broke off their engagement because she said that Scrooge's idol of gold that had replaced his love for her. Idolatry. What a thought. Idolatry, not callousness, was the root of Scrooge's problem. It is not that he didn't smile enough, laugh enough, give enough, love enough. It was that he had an idol. His worship was misplaced. 

That reminds me of the Sound of Music... The afternoon the children went to see Maria  they didn't want the Captain to know so they made up story after pathetic story. When he doesn't fall for it, Liesl finally asks "Were do you think we were, Father?... Well, if you don't believe us you must have some idea where you think we were."

If I claim that his worship was misplaced I must have some idea where I think his worship should be placed.


...


Today is the beginning of advent. What a wonderful season of love, hope, and joy. 

From the pastors of our church:
"The four Sundays leading up to Christmas have been observed ... as a way to prepare our hearts to celebrate the coming of our Savior at Christmas. We take time to look at how the Bible speaks of the longing of God’s people for the Messiah, the promise of God to send one who would make all that is wrong right again, the arrival of the Promised One to inaugurate his kingdom, and his promise to come again to bring it to completion."

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the calm before the storm

I never went back and added more to my last post. Apologies.

In short, it was a rough work day. On Friday I referred to it as running off the back of a treadmill. You're trying really hard to go forward with force, but the machine is faster and throws you off the back and you fall on your face. Yeah. It was one of those days. May be exaggerating a bit, I am a girl after all, but it was crummy.

And then I got reeeeally nervous thinking about the next few weeks of launching this product and how I need to do more and how I need to do better. I've got to earn my keep and add value.


This was all on the tails of last week's sermon on Philippians 4:6-7.

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything by prayer and supplication 

with thanksgiving 

let your requests be made known to God. 

And the peace of God,which surpasses all understanding, 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Thanks, Paul (and Redeemer Fellowship) for this reminder.

So I finished The Help, good book by the way, and picked up my Bible and "Calm my Anxious Heart," a favorite from college, and am heading off to Tampa in the morning.

In the meantime, someone please bring hubs some nutritious food on Monday and Tuesday, would ya? I'm afraid he'll eat Mickey D's for 6 straight meals...

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what Ghandi said

Ya know what ruffles my feathers? Poor customer service. Ooooo boise do I get upset quickly. 

I think this originated from a family that has collectively spent a large number of years in the restaurant industry. If your steak isn't right, you say something. If the server is snotty, you tell the manager. Oh you don't? Well I do. 

See I am of the impression that companies really do care about their customers. They want them to be served and to be happy and to come back again and again. Because that coming back again and again means $$ and more $$.

A few weeks ago I was getting my hair cut and they had a sign up. A quote by Ghandi:

"A customer is the most important visitor on our premises. 

He is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. 

He is not an interruption of our work. He is the purpose of it. 

He is not an outsider to our business. He is part of it. 

We are not doing him a favor by serving him. 

He is doing us a favor by giving us the opportunity to do so."

This week at work is Customer Service week. And sure enough this morning one of the VPs sent out that same quote as a reminder to us of how we ought to view our customers. As a client server it was very challenging. In a good way.

Which brings us to tonight, my friends. Tonight I went to World Market. I am late everywhere I go, so I arrived at 8:50. They close at 9:00, but I knew what I wanted so I knew I'd have time. Here's where the story goes sour. I walk up and there is an employee standing at the door. It's one of those automatic doors that at the end of the night they pull together to close it manually. 

Well she was standing in the door, half way-closed already, and as I got closer she just glared at me and said "two minutes." 

Being the definant person that I am, I said "It's 8:50, don't you close at 9:00?"

"Yes, we close at 9:00... you have two minutes."

"But my clock shows 8:50."

Are you ready for this?

"We don't go by your time, we go by World Market time." 

I would like to tell you that I graciously said "okay, thanks" but what I actually said was "why don't we compare watches when I'm finished shopping, mkay?" Not my proudest moment, but that's what I said.

I was partially really peeved cause another associate at that store had closed early two weeks before and when I went to the door they just stood on the other side of the door with their arms closed waiting for me to walk away. Butt-heads. Well I stomped around the store for three minutes, just to spite the woman, thinking about what Ghandi said.

Here's the lesson folks. Or lessons.

1) Be nice

2) Don't be late everywhere you go.

3) Write an email to grouchy lady's boss.

and last, but most important

In the context of serving one another, Jesus said: 

"Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." 

Matthew 25:40

And that is way more convicting than what Ghandi said.

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Oh Monday

Mack forgot to wake me up.
Woke up 15 minutes before a conference call with a potential client.

Had to tell them I can't help because I'm too busy.
Neither can the rest of the team.

Spilled coffee on my shirt while driving to work.
Cardigan can cover most of it I suppose.

Good morning, Monday. You think you're cute, doncha?

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Cor 10:31)
Do Monday to the glory of God. That's my goal for the day.

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obedient

And Jesus came and said to them,  

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, 

baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  

teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. 

And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." 

Matthew 28:18-20

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I can't work

I just emailed hubs and said "I can't work today. I just can't. It's impossible."

And then I heard myself say

...

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Mt 19:26

...

Okay fine. Back to work I go.

Friends, when I tell you that scripture memory is good for my soul, this kinda stuff is what I'm talking about.

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the appendix

In my world, an Appendix is the section of the report that is the "etc." You know, all the stuff that no one really cares about, and doesn't really serve any purpose other than lengthening the report and thus causing the reader to print extra pages. It contains stuff like definitions, statements just to "cover your bases." I mean , who in the world would finish a report or book or whatever and then continue to read the appendix. Please tell me you don't...

To my friend, an appendix is a blasted thing in her stomach that is causing a lot of pain and forcing her to stay in the hospital for too many days.

Doctors disagree about the function of the appendix. Speaking of doctors, I am not one, so all you medical folk out there pretend like I'm not spreading rumors about the appendix and just hear me out. Most will say the function is unknown (i.e. there is none.) However, in 2007 ABC, my go-to source for news, said that doctors found the magic function!

"It acts as a safe house for good bacteria, which can be used to effectively reboot the gut following a bout of dysentery or cholera."

Oh yes. Very good function, appendix. You must be very busy fighting dysentry and cholera so I shall leave you in my body.

False.

That's like me trying to prove my value to a baseball team. Oh don't you know? I'm not afriad to get dirty. Therefore, I should definitely be on your team.

False.

I don't play baseball. And my friend has every right in the world to be very angry at her appendix and to have it removed. Because a ruptured appendix and the infection it causes is very dangerous.

So we- me and hubs, family, friends, folks at church, and folks at work- are all praying for a speedy recovery for you, my friend.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."- Rev. 21:4

Thankful for the promised return of Christ.

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Iowa Kansas Kentucky...

Ok so this post has nothing to do with Kentucky, nor does it have much to do with Kansas, but thats just how the song goes, okay?

I've missed you my dear blog. "I shall miss all of you. I shall miss the money I could have made with you!" Name that movie...

Well here's the rundown since I've been gone.

• Thursday night Mother's day celebration on the patio with salad and wine. The blue cheese stuffed bacon wrapped figs would have been good too if we hadn't left them in the oven too long.
• Friday morning- Saying goodbye to my pod-buddy at work. Very sad.
• Friday afternoon- ROADTRIP

We went with some great friends to visit some other great friends in Ames, Iowa. We were pretty excited to see their new dig since they moved and bought in January, but mostly it was wonderful to see them. These are the kinds of friends where you dont have to force conversation, you don't have to be afraid to tell them you don't like bowling, and when you mess up and put together the "5 Minute [Ceiling] Fan" all wrong and it takes 3 hours and causes sore arms and necks and wounds your pride you can still laugh your way through the frustration. The kind of people that make you enjoy looking at geo-thermal tubes and not mind walking through cobwebs. The friends that don't laugh at you when you ask what a PHD is. The friends who do amazing impersonations of Alf and Stephen Hawking in charades. These are our friends. And we love them. Pictures to come soon!

We put the pedal to the metal last night and got back just in time for my baptism. I'll tell you about that soon. Then we had small group at another friends adorable new house, raced to get my back packed, and was off to the airport early this morning.

This is my life as a 24 year old.
I am 24, right?
It's crazy. But every day is a new day. And a gift. So cool.

"This is the day that the Lord has made.
Let us rejoice and be glad in it."- Ps 118:24

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the sun stops shining

it's very fitting that the they are calling for rain for the next three days here. the sun will stop shining for a few days and will carry us through Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and into Easter.

Sometimes at night when my brain is lazy I like to pick up the Jesus Storybook Bible instead of my ESV version and just read the stories of Jesus as they are told to children. If you haven't heard of the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones, you should do yourself a favor and get a copy. Go to their website and download a few stories to read it on your own. Keep it on your own shelf, or give it to a child near you. Cause it is wonderful.

A few nights ago, Brett and I read "The Sun Stops Shining" and it was good for me to remember from a true, historical perpective, not just a theological one, what happened with Jesus on the cross. Amazing.

If you have the book walk away from the computer and go read this story. If you dont, take 5 minutes and watch this video that the company put out on their Facebook page.

Love you all.

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I need to stop now

Tonight the roomie is at a happy hour and I'm just fiddle-fartin-around (I got that phrase from my manager and now I use it a lot) so I went to Lowes even though I prefer Home Depot and got some paint chips because lately I've been inspired to repaint our kitchen and our bathroom. Some things you should know about me, our house, and paint:

• I want to paint everything yellow. Everything.
• Our entire house is beige- blah- with two exceptions:
• A guest room that went from beige to a light yellow and took four coats. Four. Four! Yes, I'm still recovering.
• An office that I painted this terrible dinner mint green, regretted immediately, told myself I'd live with it for a while which I did for about six months before I had to fix it. I went and got a safe cream color and guess what? It matches our trim exactly. I left it and gave up. 
• I'm terrible at painting so my hubby wants to hire out every job. I even spray painted our storm door and there are paint marks on the middle of the glass. How do you do that? I'm terrible. That's how.

Back to the paint chips. I put them up on the wall in the kitchen...

Maybe, just maybe, I should lay off the whole pretending to be decorative until after spring. What do you think? I'm pretty sure I have every possible shade of pastel on this wall. *Sigh*

I just need to stop now. 

Contentment is good.

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content." 

1 Timothy 6:6-8

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ash wednesday

Genesis 3:19b

...for you are dust,

and to dust you shall return.

dust symbolizes our mortality, our sin, and the purification God makes for us.

how deep the Father's love for us,
how vast beyond all measure
that he should give his only Son
to make a wretch his treasure.
how great the pain of searing loss,
the Father turns his face away
as woulds which mar the Chosen One,
bring many sons to glory.
behold the Man upon a cross,
my sin upon his shoulders.
ashamed, I hear my mocking voice,
call out among the scoffers.
it was my sin that held Him there
until it was accomplished.
his dying breath has bought me life
I know that it is finished.
Stuart Townsend

If you read that as a song, go back and read it as a story.

Because its the prophesy of Isaiah 53:4-6

Surely he has borne our griefs
   and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
   smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions;
   he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
   and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
   we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
   the iniquity of us all.

And the true story of Christ in 2 Corinthians 5:21

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin,

so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Think about that today and for the next 40 days. I am.

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Warning

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.- Luke 6:45

Consider this a backdrop for the words and thoughts here- they are flowing- for better or worse- from my heart.

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