So this weekend I think I was thinking about how much we ought to expect a person to love us. How much can a human fulfill our need to be loved? And how little affection is too little? At what point does it become just "good enough"? Which of course is never actually enough.
I'm very thankful for my hubs. And especially thankful for Christ who loves me more than my bestie could ever hope to. He's the one that makes our marriage thrive.
So then I encounter people... Okay fine just one person... A work person who requires way more patience than I'm used to needing to give.
I remember once last year I was working for a manager at my company who was, well, challenging to say the least. I remember raising my voice with him and saying "I've never even been tempted to speak to my husband this way so there is no way you should make me this angry at you!" It was a very female thing to say at the moment- you know, nonsensical and not helpful- but I meant it!
Anyway, back to the guy this week. He requires more patience from me than I'm used to. I have to continually pray and ask God to make me humble and to remember that he means well. I say outloud in my head... Or maybe just outloud altogether things like "I'm a woman therefore I think I know best." Which really is the truth! But really, it isn't the truth. It's just in my arrogant little head.
What is my conclusion? For now I think it is: love is not just a feeling, it is also a commitment that requires intentionality and a healthy does of patience.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law..."Mt 22:37-40
