out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

Heyo I was tagged!

I kept seeing "The 12" floating around FB and the blogosphere, but I was kind of ignoring it until Emily filled it out and sure enough I was tagged to go next.

So 12 random facts about me followed by some questions that you didn't know you wanted to ask me. Here goes. In no particular order. Except for #1.

I remember when I first met Emily. She and Brad came to our house for a church group and when they arrived they buzzed into our apartment and announced themselves as "The Jensens". Ah! I looked at the first names of all the people coming, but didn't pay attention to the last names. How am I going to greet them?! In case you wondered, we all survived. And I remember she was wearing a blue cardigan with a fun headband had gorgeous curled brown hair and I thought "Ooo!" like when a little girl sees a pretty doll in a window. That was my first impression of this wonderful woman.
When I was in high school I very seriously considered going to college for cosmetology. I even did an independent study on makeup. Which is funny now considering how very little I wear. I put on eyeshade for date night tonight and it was a big deal, folks.
I would rather have a facial than a massage, pedicure, haircut... you name it. Facial is my preference. Haircuts are just stressful for me.
I hate reading. I've learned to read the news on an app called Feedly. You can also use Flipboard, but Feedly more easily incorporates blogs I think. Anyway, I now read headlines of the news on my phone when I'm drying my hair (which takes ages). So that's a step in the right direction.
I love to bake, but don't like making anything super complicated, overly pretty, or very fattening. So my repertoire is kind of limited. One time I was going to branch out and make creme brulee, but when I saw that almost all recipes had 50 grams of fat I backed out. Just can't do it. I believe sweets are for eating, not for decoration. So go ahead and skip the fancy cupcakes and hand me a delightful seven layer bar or cookie. If you ever want to share recipes among friends use Pepperplate. It's a free website/app where you can compile your recipes from various sites, scale to make half batches or double batches, and even figure out your grocery list. Check it out.
I don't like bacon or watermelon. My weirdness has been solidified.
I don't proofread, let alone draft, my blogs. That would be why my sentences occasionally don't make sense and I have plenty of typos. That's how I roll, folks. Emily and I are very much opposites in this way.
I like to make the bed (or straighten sheets at a minimum) before climbing in bed. I've picky about that for as long as I can remember.
One of these days I want to learn to sew and quilt. Who knows if I'll ever do anything about that.
I lovelovelovelovelove to sing. But my voice is not nearly what it used to be since I haven't sung other than car/shower/lullabies/church in a long time. So now I get sheepish about it. I wish I still had the same skill, and confidence, I once had.
I am addicted to water. Hold. Allow me to clarify. I'm addicted to drinking water. I don't swim well and I don't like saltwater at beaches. Whenever I leave the house I always bring a beverage with me and 95% of the time it is water. Occasionally I'll leave in a hurry and forget it, in which case I immediately panic like a claustrophobic seeking the nearest exit in a crowded room. Even if I'm going somewhere I know there will be water like church or the mall. I might die without it. Logically.
I would rather have fish than meat or poultry almost every time. And I live in Kansas. So that's fun.

Whew. That was long. Part 2: Questions. Coming at you soon!

Words mean things

Posted by Sam , at Friday, December 14, 2012

Words and phrases that bother me:

Con-sentinos. Is pronounced CO-sentinos. Only one "n".

Chipol-tee. Correctly pronounced ChiPOAT-lay. Like the pepper or the spice.

Aldis. You may use an "s", but only if you are talking about "multiple Aldis around town" or "Aldi's great deals." You never "go to Aldis" unless you are going to multiple locations.

Victoria Secrets. Who has the secret? Victoria! Victoria's Secret... Don't google that at work, Just trust me.

Starbucks is not a drink. It is a place. It is unlikely that you're going to "go get a Starbucks" this morning or ever.

I am a little OCD sometimes. But it's better if I just get it off my chest and apologize for being weird. I don't want to be irked when you say things wrong. It's not your fault. It's mine. Maybe I should practice saying these words ~~incorrectly~~ differently and then I won't notice so much.

Do I really think that will help? No. But I'm willing to try.

I'm melting

Posted by Sam , at Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I don't DO heat people. And it's hot. We're talking some serious amounts of heat round here. Right now it is 10pm and its 97 degrees outside. I just took Mack on a walk and when I got back my elbows were dripping with sweat. And I don't DO sweat. Check this out...

For serial peeps. I'm melting.

In all seriousness...

Pray for a cold front.

Pray for rain.

Pray for people working in the heat like my Dad and his crews.

Pray for farmers.

Pray for people living without AC.

Pray for people living without a roof.

You can pass on prayers for the weathermen. Their jobs are pretty easy right about now...

Posted with Blogsy

thoughts on a tuesday

Posted by Sam , at Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Know what's weird? Color names.

Raspberry pink- light pink. Nothing like a raspberry.

Kelly green? Anyone know who Kelly is?

Burnt orange? You mean orangish red?

Can anyone tell me the difference between fuschia and magenta? No you can't.

I'm convinced midnight blue originated with VanGogh. Cause the sky around me is black at midnight.

I realize you can google the answers to most of these, but still. They are still silly.

Over and out.

life in the fast lane

Posted by Sam , at Monday, May 07, 2012

We're in our mid-twenties. Therefore we move fast. Actually, I have always moved fast. I try to fit as many things into my day as possible which is why I'm always 5 minutes late everywhere I go. But that's another story for another day.

We are just busy busy people. And we love it.

Here's a few days in the life*:
Warning: this is long and it is not fancy. It is very matter-of-fact. A true play-by-play.

Thursday night got off work at 6:30 after emotionally hyper-ventilating cause work was nuts. Changed and mowed the lawn. Friends came over at 8 for hot dogs. They left at 10.
Friday worked until 3:30 then bailed early to go pick up some last minute birthday/ mother's day/ wedding gifts. By 4:30 I was at the park picking up a packet for a race on Saturday morning. By 5:30 we were at the neighbors helping them move a couch. By 6:30 we were on the plaza in Royals attire picking up my in-laws for a birthday/ mother's day celebration. At 11:00 we arrived back at home in time to put some laundry in the dryer before bed that had been there since 6:20. Be sure to step over the massive amount of water gathering at the base of the stairs and soaking the carpet. Deal with that later.
Saturday morning at 6:15 we're out the door for a race. You know, the "is that really possible?" race. I ran (and walked). Bestie ran. We were alive and out of the park by 9:00. Home, shower, bestie back to the Plaza to meet his parentals and I to a wedding brunch then to get our nails done. I finished at 1:45 and was to the baseball field by 2:15 where I produced a fair amount of glisten while watching the kids bust out another win. At 3:15 I was back in the car heading home. Don't shower before the rehearsal dinner. Just spritz with perfume (I'll get complemented on this later). Pick up the house a bit, try to kill as many ants as possible, catch up on some blogs, then start doing hair and makeup at 4:15 to be out the door for a 5:00 rehearsal dinner. By 8:30 we're on the road again. This time we're off to see my fam. The night is young, doncha know?! At 11:00- give or take 20 minutes- we crash.
Sunday morning at 7:45 alarm goes off. Hit the showers and dry the lions mane before heading to a dear friend's wedding day preparations. More on the wedding later. Hubs is heading to church then to brunch with friends before he joins me for the ceremony at 2:30. I leave the wedding at 6:30, stop at the store to pickup snacks, arrive home at 7:10. Hub was able to leave the wedding early to come home and clean because friends are coming over at 7:15. We sit and talk about what it means to be in the kingdom of God. More on that later. They all leave by 9:45. We have just enough time to pick up, load the dishwasher, watch an episode of Parks and Rec, and crash.
Today I left work at 6pm which is pretty standard. Good thing dinner is in the crock pot because by the time we get home, feed the pup, eat, clean up, and fold some laundry its time to head out to grab coffee with a friend at 7:30. By the time you leave the coffee shop Sam's Club is closed and you don't have a chance to get toilet paper or creamer so you just head home thinking about how I need to pick up creamer (and a coffee for 7 people by 7:30am) to be ready for an 8-hour meeting that starts at 8am. Don't think about it. When I get home at 9:20 hubs is working in our home office and I'm left wishing I had time to go for a run and staring at the laundry and the dust on the furniture and the piles on the counter and I just don't wanna...

So I blog. And I tell you how I feel.

And in two days a man will arrive at our house and he will give us an estimate of how much it would cost to have pros come clean for us once a month. To give us a little bit of life back. Is this lazy of us? Maybe. It is needed? I don't know. You see that big long story a lead in to what I will write tomorrow about my feelings on this concept of hiring a cleaning company. It will be shorter. I promise :-) See you then!

tuesday

Posted by Sam , at Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I have nothing to blog about.

Well, I could blog about my first grader's thank you cards. But no one loves them quite like I do.

And I could blog about our sweet game of pictionary. And how how difficult it is to draw a "ditch."

Or about our new favorite iPad game called Draw Something. It's addicting. Get it on your i-device.

Or I could blog about my orange roses are going crazy this year. Like nutso amounts of blooms. Loving that.

Maybe I could learn to take a photo of something. Or maybe I could post a picture of me posting this blog. I think I will.

I could also write about how people have a really hard time producing meaningful analytics because they are missing one critical component- the gut check.

If you know nothing about statistics, know this:

when you get an new number or metric you should always go a gut check.

Not to say that your gut is always right,

but its worthwhile to add a little human intelligence to the mix.

38% of our clients use payroll DD.

Only 1% of our clients used payroll DD as of 2 months ago. 38% is not correct.

Our client satisfaction increased 20%. Great improvement!

We gave away our main product. That isn't a legit increase in client satisfaction. People are more tolerant of bad service when they aren't paying for it. When was the last time you complained to a manager about waiting in line at Jimmy John's on $1 sub day? You just don't do it.

But I won't write about analytics because that would be boring :-)

I could write about how our neighbor's little girl learned to say my name and it makes me happy. Or about how she got a swing-set and looooves to swing. She ate dinner in her swing the other night because she didn't want to get out. So funny.

I could write about how Mack dug up my Creeping Jenny. We're back to a mud-pit again. I let him have a friend over and he abused his privilege. Rude.

Or about how I went to get coffee this morning and my favorite baristas weren't there and the new kids got my fetchel treat wrong.

But since I don't have anything to write about I'll just say happy tuesday everyone.

Needs and Wants

Posted by Sam , at Thursday, April 19, 2012

I volunteer in a first grade classroom for a few weeks each year. I love it. Except that time last week where I saw two kids, count 'em two, dig for gold then eat it. Bluchk!

Well lately we've been talking about the difference between needs and wants.
Not too difficult to define, right?
Need: Something you have to have.
Want: Something you don't have to have, but you would be happy if you did have it.

So we practice categorizing things.
Food- Need.
Home- Need.
School- Need/ Want/ Don't want

Wii- Want/ Need?
Clothes- Need (when you're in 1st grade it's a need... it becomes a want when you get to 7th)

Not too difficult to categorize those things, but in my world it gets trickier.
Oil change- Need
New sheets- Want? Ours are past their prime, but still functional.
Salmon instead of chicken- Want?
An app to blog from my iPad- Want
Date night with hubs- Need?

Truth or dare?
Truth?
Ok. Do you know the difference between need and want? Do you use need to often?

Dare?
Good choice. I dare you to catch yourself saying need and to correct yourself out-loud when appropriate.
For example:
I need coffee. No, I want coffee.
I need new, no, want new black dress pants.
I need a manicure. Correction. I want a manicure.

And can we be honest about something? I am not at risk of understating my needs. You are not either. We don't have many needs. People that don't have enough to eat and are being oppressed by others, they have needs. We have wants. When in doubt, use want instead.

When you start correcting yourself you'll notice how often you use these words. That's when it gets scary. Cause it sounds something like this...

I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT

What do I sound like? A first grader throwing a tantrum in the aisle at Target. Lovely.

Heart check: Why do I want so much when I lack so little? According to Paul Tripp, we are "vats of desire and entitlement."
Vat. Nice word. Makes me think of lard. Vat of lard.
I want a vat of lard.
No I don't. Just practicing.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

PS- If you want to know more on what Paul Tripp has to say about our words and what they reveal about who we believe God is, listen to this. It's long though, like over an hour maybe. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Crunching the numbers

Posted by Sam , at Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I've had some interesting jobs in my day. I'm only a-twenty-somethin, but I done seen the world.
False.

But I did work at a golf country club without ever setting foot on the course.
I worked at a brewery without ever drinking beer.
I worked at the YMCA in the inner city... without having kids? Less significant. I'll stop.
I worked at a beauty salon.
I worked at a house-keeper in a major hotel.
I taught statistics.
I worked in another restaurant.
And I worked in a flower shop. Okay fine, I didn't. But I wish I did!

Anywho, I've spent a few minutes as a server. And mi madre y mi hermana (my computer really wanted me to type "Herman" there) have spent more than a few minutes servin y'all over the years. And ya know what I've found after being around the industry? People are confused about this whole tip thing. Allow me to give you some pointers:

Tips are servers' wages. They don't get a paycheck. And they likely have to split their earnings with lots of people through the restaurant, so don't assume they "make bank" on the $10 per table that they earn.
Tips should be percent based, not fixed value. You people that tip $3 every time no matter how big the bill... no one likes you.
Tips should be based on performance. The industry standard is about 18 percentages here in uh-mare-ee-ca, so you can go up or down from there. Go less than 15% and you're telling your server they messed up. Keep that in mind.
Tip on the after tax value. (This is the topic that spurred today's post so I had to bury this tip in the middle, lest I get fired up.)
Tip on the pre-discounted value. For example, if you had a coupon for a free entree or your server bought your dessert for your birthday, add the cost of that back in then calc your tip.
If you sit for a long time and don't order much, add extra to your tip for opportunity cost. We won't define that phrase today, so just trust me.

What is the easiest way to get to 18%? Aim for 20% Pardon the condescension here, but do you know how to crunch the numbers to get to 20% of your ticket? Just move the decimal and multiply by 2.
If your meal was 30, it is 3x2 or $6.
If your meal was 150, your tip should be closer to 15x2 or $30. You might think that is a lot, but at restaurants with higher prices each server takes care of fewer customers. That means they spend more time on you and don't have as many tables. So they aren't necessarily making that much more.

Glad we could have this conversation :-)

all I wanted was pink nails

Posted by Sam , at Tuesday, March 06, 2012

I did! I just really wanted a gel manicure. It started on Sunday when two friends came over and they had just come from the nail salon. Their fun springy nails beckoned. But I said to myself, I said, "No, self! You just got a haircut and have been longing for moroccan oil. You can't spend monies on a manicure."

Well, that was Sunday. Then Monday came and I still wanted a mani. Then Tuesday came in all it's 75 degree showiness and demanded that I get out of the office to get one. I called ahead to make sure I'd have time. It'd be close on my my 65 minute break, but I could do it. And I'd even have time to swing by one of the McD's in town that historically has had Shamrock shakes.

But you know what happened? Traffic was terrible. There was a school bus blocking one lane on Main waiting for the students. And then you make it past the bus to find a car with a guy dropping off his gf for work, but not without a 10 minute make-out session first. Aw, so cute. Barf. This lane is also, for all essential purposes, closed. I make it past both of them to find massive truck after massive bus after massive truck. What in the world?! It's a Tuesday at 11:45! What da' prob'm is?!

So right before getting on the highway I bailed. I decided to give up on the nails and just get my smooth minty shake. But you know where you don't go on Tuesday at what is now noon? McD's on Main. Just don't do it. You'll never get out. 12:50 after your manicure you'll be fine. But straight up 12 noon? No siree-bob. Bad news bears. Don't even try.

You know what all the hub-ub is? The Big 12 tournament is arriving. All the junk and all the teams and all the fans. Now let it be known that I love my Jayhawks. And I love the tournament. But it ruined my perfectly-planned-pretty-pink sunshiney day. Ruuuuude!

Maybe tonight I'll paint my nails pink and make myself a homemade shamrock shake. In the mean time, I'm now back at my desk for my lunch. Hurumph.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Posted by Sam , at Friday, February 24, 2012

Today was one of those days. Actually, yesterday was too. And the day before. The kind of day where nothing you put on looks decent. So you end up changing 17-22 times each morning, leaving a trail of clothes in your wake, and walking out the door in slippers because you were so focused on your shirts.

When you finally get around to making your morning coffee you pour it into your mug and realize the dredges are more than dredges. They are full on grounds. The filter fell over again. For shame.

Make another pot. Put on legit shoes. Not "legit" in the social sense of the word. More like an abbreviation for legitimate. Get to work at 9am because it took you 35 minutes to get dressed and 10 minutes to make coffee, and you're automatically behind on the day. Then you feel obligated to blog about it because it is your life. My life. In a nutshell.

Maybe I'll drive to another state tonight. Or maybe tomorrow. Or maybe I won't go at all.

Either way. I should start working now since it's 9:25. Oops.

Sunday, Monday, Friday

Posted by Sam , at Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Know when you hear your alarm go off on a Saturday morning and subconsciously you yell at yourself for not forgetting to change turn it off the night before. And you see your roomie climb out of bed which is perfectly normal because he has to work at half-past way too early on Saturday. And the wonderful dream you were dreaming totally took a different turn cause your brain had to incorporate irrationally loud noises?

Hold that thought.

Know when you wake up and skip your shower cause you defnitely showered yesterday. You get to work and eat our breakfast at your desk [daily] and start preparing for meetings that are the next day and write the wrong date on everything because you really could have sworn that today was Wednesday and not Tuesday.

Bring it all together now...

I woke up today and thought it was Saturday.

Enough said.

the lion's mane.

Posted by Sam , at Wednesday, January 04, 2012

You know those little elastic hair band that look like they should be bands for your braces? Speaking of which, do you remember using braces bands for your hair back in Junior High? Or maybe you call it Middle School. It depends on where you went I suppose.

Anyway, I still use those little elastic bands in my hair every once in a blue moon when I dont want a fabric wrapped one being all bulky.

Today I was drying my hair and you know what I found? A little elastic band. Who knows how long it has been there. I don't remember using one for the last week at least. And I promise I shower at least every other day.

You wish you had a mane like mine where you could hide things.

Planning to purge

Posted by Sam , at Thursday, December 29, 2011

Tomorrow I plan to dig through a few crannies of our house and purge stuff. So riddle me this, blog friends, what does one do with:

Old CDs that have been loaded into iTunes and have since been sitting untouched in an old CD folio thingy for the last 3 years?
Old jewelry that I don't wear anymore? Think target style, not Gold-Stash-for-Cash. I wish...
Old files that need to be shredded but our shredder doesn't work?

Open to suggestions...

The cough. Dun dun duuuunnnn....

Posted by Sam , at Monday, December 19, 2011

Let's rewind to New Years of 2010. Or 2009. Anyway it was 12/31/2009 and we had people over to our house for new years. I was coming down with a cold that night and didn't want to drink wine because I was afraid the alchy would just make it worse.

Fast forward three weeks. I was coughing up a storm and getting kicked out of work cause my neighbors found it disgusting. It was. The doctor told me to drink more water. She's bright.

Fast forward three more weeks and I'm half-dead. Different doctor likes to take my blood every other day and make me take serious meds. He makes me breathe into this crazy obnoxious machine and gives me an inhaler. I have no idea which way is up. But I sit in on conference calls from home so I can put the phone on mute and cough incessantly whenever necessary.

Short story? I'm slightly melodramatic. As you can see, I turned out just fine.

But I lost a lot of my voice through that terrible bronchitis. Very very very sad. I miss it. And there is no recording of my performances anywhere. Oh well. Might be better that I continue to enjoy what I thought I sounded like in my head :-)

Fast forward two years. Whenever I get a cough (read: I currently have a cough) I get nervous. And so does my bestie. I don't like that I constantly have to clear my throat or cough every 15 minutes. I don't like that cough drops don't help and that I'm out of herbal tea. I don't like that it is December and my Gingerbread Latte intake is being seriously threatened by my throat's negative reactions to milk. Rude.

That's all. No point to that story except that I do not enjoy my current cough. The end.

Incent, incentive, and incentivize

Posted by Sam , at Monday, December 05, 2011

Did you know that incent isn't a word?

Tell me how much sense that makes, people.

Zero, you say? I agree.

Incentive is the noun. Incentivize is the standard English verb.

Silly English. It is so confused.

Get that joke? It should be confusing, but I'm using confused just to spite it all!

I'm currently having a hard time writing "incentivize" in an email
because it is a dumb word.

Oh the troubles I have on a Monday morning...

Dear coffee, I love you

Posted by Sam , at Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm blogging at work. Don't yell at me. I just had to stop for a minute to tell you that I love coffee.

You know why I love coffee?
Not because of the smell, although that is great
Not because of the taste, although sometimes it's good
Not because it keeps my eyes from drooping in boring meetings, although that is convenient

Rather, I love coffee
Because of morning coffee dates with a dear friend
Because when you're traveling and want to stop and look at the map or people-watch you grab a cup
Because it is a wonderful way to start a day skiing (mountains, I love you too)
Because you are the center of coffee shops which are always included in the best date nights
Because it is a great medium for getting pumpkin spice and gingerbread syrup into my system :-)
And for so many mornings

Cheers to you, dear coffee! [Insert coffee gulp here]

the heat is on!

Posted by Sam , at Monday, November 14, 2011

I have this thing. Some might call it a problem. That might be fair, but I just like to call it a habit.

I never leave once.

When I leave my house, and especially my parents house and sometimes hotels and other times client sites, I leave things behind and have to go back to get whatever I left. That's why I like to say that I never leave once. That's called a euphemism. Or maybe not depending on how you view my presence... but since it is me talking I will call it a euphemism. Actually can I change my mind again? Cause its actually very annoying. I lose things. Well not lose exactly, more like misplace. Another euphemism.

Well anyway, most recently I have misplaced my credit card and my iPod. It's official. They've been gone for about a week and a half. And I have to say it seems extremely unlikely that they are together. I haven't had any fraudulent activity on my card so that's how I know it's just misplaced and not lost. Haven't checked the activity on my iPod cause that's not possible. Get this though... I have my wallet, but no credit card. I have my earbuds, but no iPod. Who does that?!

I wish I was like Winnie from Hocus Pocus and could just call out to them like she calls for her book... I mean I do call out to them, but they don't answer.

But the heat is on because next week is Thanksgiving and I don't have my gym music (so naturally I can't go work off the gunk I'll eat) or listen to any- *swallow*- Christmas music! And I also don't have my card for to begin Christmas shopping with. I just ended a sentence in a preposition. Oh help...

Name that movie. I didn't give you enough to work with, did I? Well I'll just tell you. It's the Sound of Music.

Where have I not looked?!

huh?

Posted by Sam , at Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I have been oh so very absent from the blogosphere lately. And I miss it. I couldn't even tell you the last time I looked at The Pioneer Woman or Thrifty Decor Chick. So behind!

I don't even have anything good to write about. I just wanted to tell you all that I'm alive.

I helped launch a new product line. It's called Money Express. You've never heard of it.
I have used twice the normal number of minutes on my cell phone. Or maybe three times... I hit the "twice" mark last week.
I bought a pre-paid phone.
I "posed" as a latina for an ad.
I baked a quiche.
My sister cleaned my house for me when all the cleaning companies in town were booked. You wish my sister was your sister.
I traveled to Florida, South Carolina, and Tennesee.
I bought a turnip and told the grocery store lady it was a parsnip. Or maybe it was the other way around.
I chopped a rutabega. And whatever that other thing was that I bought.
I went to the world pray-me-air... that's french for premiere... of Tom Sawyer (the ballet) at the Kauffman Performing Arts Center.
I planted more tulips.
I killed my mums.
I bought a pair of skinny jeans. And wore them in public.
I lost my luggage on a non-stop flight.
I slept in my contacts and my eyes have not forgiven me.
I stayed at the KU v. K-State game until the 4th quarter. Took some dedication.
I mistakenly used whipped cream instead of whipping cream. Big difference.

Just par for the course, ya know? Not that I've ever played golf, but I think that's what that means...

What am I even saying right now? I should stop while I'm behind.

Check back later. I'll have pictures for you or something.

what Ghandi said

Posted by Sam , at Monday, October 10, 2011